It's official...

I hate people. I know, I know, I am a people person. That is one reason why engineering did not work for me....me and a computer in a 4x4 foot box. Just wasn't the makings of my dream job. What I wouldn't give for a job like that today. I have to work with the public tonight and I am afraid...afraid that I am going to go off on someone. "Seriously, are we doing this??" Those words could come out of my mouth at any moment, especially if I get a stupid question about adhesive! Could my stress come from working two full time jobs? Maybe....the "part time" fun job at the scrapbooking store is about 35 hours a week. The real job and dealing with wine assholes - for the most part I love my job, the wine jerks and the people at Spec's liquor store that think they invented wine are the ones that bring me down. Maybe the stress is coming from my separation. I seriously think I am breaking his heart. I have had my heart broken and I know how it feels. To think that I am doing that to someone else is killing me. I don't have much choice, for my own sanity and happiness, I have to. Life just sucks right now....I keep on trying to look at the bright side (and I do have many bright spots in my life: awesome friends, an awesome mom and sister, a job, a place to live, enough money to get by, etc.). "Pity Party, table for one....." that's me right now! I know it will get better...in another moment, another day, another year....things will be totally different. Just have to hold on and not smack the living shit out of someone right now!